| Cranes and Sakura Blossoms |
[06 Mar 2004|11:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 restless |
] |
Tonight is the full moon, beautiful like a white lily floated in a sea of black ink. Here I go with the poetry again... But truthfully I'm restless. I want to run, get out of the house and into the night. Do something crazy.
I feel like I'm back in the sand again, because that's something I did back there. Run, I mean. Out over the sand, just run and run. Escaped. It was stupid and reckless and twenty kinds of fun. Now I have obligation, now there's no way for me to cut everything away like I did then.
Now I suppose I'll have to find something else crazy to do.
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| Better |
[26 Feb 2004|02:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hopeful |
] |
I think everything is okay now... Yeah.
Fought with Sasuke the other day. Ended in a draw. Go me. AND I AM NOT A TOMBOY!
Well, have to run- lunchtime, you know...
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| Safe |
[20 Feb 2004|08:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 upset, but relieved |
] |
He's safe, so... so everything will be okay.
( Private... )
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| Left Behind... Like Absolute Trash... |
[19 Feb 2004|03:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crushed |
] |
He left me. I don't want to move, I don't want to think. I'm just going to lay here...
I wonder how long it's been since I've eaten...
I wonder how I've ceased to care...
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| You Be My Savior, I'll Be Your Downfall |
[15 Feb 2004|03:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
I'll lay me down tonight, much further down~ I have that song stuck in my head... Valentines day is finally over, and I did nothing. You know, I thought he got it! I really did. But he just doesn't. But really, that's okay, because I shouldn't get it either. It's wrong, so I can't do anything about it, but still... Great, now I'm waxing poetic shit. Wonderful.
( PRIVATE... )
( For Gaara and Kankuro... )
( For Iruka-sensei... )
Ino-chan, maybe we can get together soon? We can 'gossip.' *secret smile*
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| Dancing on the Moon |
[13 Feb 2004|08:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 quixotic |
] |
Last night I went down by the lake, saw Iruka-sensei there as well. Finally found someone as well versed in the stars as I myself. Interesting. Stayed there until dawn, and didn't see soul after he left. I wasn't expecting that, I suppose I thought that people would flock to such a tranquil place. They don't, apparently. Well, solitude is nice sometimes. But sometimes, it isn't...
( For Iruka-sensei... )
Going over to Ino's later, I'm sure that'll be fun.
( Private... )
I think after I finish hanging out with Ino, I'll go back to the lake. There are still thinks I need to sort out...
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| Tranquility and Tension |
[12 Feb 2004|07:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
upset |
] |
I really do think I'll go to the lakeside now. I'm tense and upset and I can't even figure out why... So I think it'd be best if I got out of the house before I go crazy or something... I bet the lakeside will be calm and I'll be able to sort some things out...
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| Just Another Day... |
[12 Feb 2004|02:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cranky |
] |
There really seems to be nothing for me to do lately. Truely, there's absolutely nothing. I've found myself cleaning for god's sake. That's how bored I am. I wonder why no one has ever stopped by- none of the leaf nin ever come over at all. Well, no, actually I think I know why...
Tomorrow, though, I'm going to have a visit with Ino-chan. That'll be fun, ne?
( For Ino-chan... )
It seems lately there's been a lot going on with people, but most of it I've missed. Still, for one, I know that Kiba-kun is upset over something. Kiba-kun, you better feel better soon. I don't know what happened, but you seem really shook up about something, so... er... get better... *blushes and looks away* Yeah, do that...
( For Gaara... )
I think tonight I'll go sit by the lake... Just a note to those who might want to find me...
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| Another Day... |
[11 Feb 2004|11:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crappy |
] |
I've been having 'bonding' with Kankuro lately. Very interesting, let me tell you! Didn't know bro was such a cool guy. (You heard me, Kankuro- don't you dare make me repeat it. Ever.) It's been fun though...
( For Kankuro Only... )
( Private... )
Anyone want to waste some time? I'm free all day, every day...
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| Bad... |
[09 Feb 2004|01:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crushed |
] |
Today was fucked up. In multiple ways. There was the whole getting-drunk-off-my-ass thing, and the Kankuro thing, and... just FUCK. I don't know why I drank so much, but it was mostly due to all of this goddamnedstress and crap like that. Fuck, I'm all upset now.
Gaara is just... he won't believe we're not going to just turn on him any second, that we're not going to just run off and leave him. And he has to say that he's 'loving only himself,' and I think he's just hurt and he's so young and it's not right and FUCK. And then I got him angry because I got plastered and was irresponsible and just a bad bad bad bad big sister and totally let go of everything. And now I've fucked up everything just wonderfully.
Gaara... I wonder if he'll come home at all! He's been out and I worry when he stays ut alone at night. I know he can tke care of himself and it's just stupidstupidstupid but I worry and want him to come home anyways. And I want to make him belive Kankuro and me, but he won't so we just have to stay by him and wait for him to get it but maybe he won't and I just hope he does and I'm not even writing in sentances anymore. FUCK.
And Kankuro... God I'm sorry and you know I didn't mean to be that dumb and please forgive me! I'm the worst big sister ever. I'm not even there for mt brothers! And we're all we've got... And fuck it all, now I'm crying and just...
FUCK.
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| Carpe Diem! |
[08 Feb 2004|11:49am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nervous |
] |
Today is the date set for the lake party, and I'm very excited about it. Yet still... very nervous... Hmm... but hopefully it'll be fun...
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| Ah, I See... |
[07 Feb 2004|01:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited/ashamed |
] |
I went over to see Sakura-san, she helped me find one of those swim-things. It's... *blush*... somewhat revealing. I think it's called a 'bikini,' but Sakura-san assured me that it was not indecent. Good thing too. But still...
*blush*
Anyways, it's a dark sandy color with red and maroon bits on it. I like it, though it shows... er... skin, for lack of a better description. Still, arigatou Sakura-san! You helped me out a lot.
When I actually went to her house, I did something that I suppose (in retrospect) was very bad manners. When her mother let me in, I walked up and into her room without knocking. And.. well... er...
Gomen for waling in on you, Sakura-san! I didn't expect you to be getting dressed! It was not very considerate of me not to knock... er... yes...
...
And on an unrelated note: Kiba-kun, you better bring some of that sake you have to the lake, you wouldn't believe how hard it is to get from actual stores...
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| Swim Suit? |
[06 Feb 2004|05:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
confused |
] |
I'm going to the lake with everyone, but only now do I realize that I don't know what one wears while swimming? And whatever it is, I'd better go buy it soon... I believe they're called 'bathing suits' which makes no sense as we are not bathing.
...Are we? I am very confused about all of these tings, but I'm sure that when I go shopping (maybe in an hour or so) I'll be able to find something suitable...
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| Don't Disrespect! |
[06 Feb 2004|12:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
snarky |
] |
Kankuro's been being a little smart ass lately, I'm thinking it might be time to put him in his place again. Che... he wants a frigid bitch? He'll get one. Dearest little brother must learn some respect...
I believe tomorrow I'll be going to the lake with some of the leaf children, if that is tomorrow anyways. Kiba-kun, Sakura-chan, and Naruto-kun will be there I think... Well actually, I think almost everyone will be there. It should be interesting. And it will also be my first time at a lake, that I can remember anyway. I've seen water, sure, seen water jutsu, but I've never swam in it to my knowledge. I wonder if it's hard...
Gaara finally got here, and it was about time. How long did it take him to figure out the computer?
This room they've assigned me is creepy, it feels as if someone is watching me. I'm sure they are, though- the ANBU have been keeping a close eye on us sand nin. What do they think we're going to do, blow the treaty for our country? Thanks, but not thanks; I personally hate the wind country. But this place... this place will take some getting used to...
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| Testing: One, Two, Three? |
[04 Feb 2004|10:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 complacent |
] |
This whole idea is very strange. We are to use these 'computers' to update our 'journals.' All of the shinobi have them now, and we have to use them to promote 'community.' Che, writing down your thoughts is simply exposing weakness...
Anyways, I did not do much today (I suppose one's day is something one writes about in a journal?), but being in the leaf is very strange. For one, the climate and surroundings are totally alien to me. I'm used to harsh sands, hot and cloudless days, and strong winds. Hmm.. I find I rather like cloud watching.
This is stupid, I'm signing off now.
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